Although the One Flesh marriage is easy to comprehend in theory, once its basic principles are understood, the application of these principles is not necessarily simple. If it were, it would not have the great value it does, for the value of such things is always dictated by their rarity. If one knows some obstacles to avoid, however, the One Flesh relationship can be made more readily obtainable to all.

THE TIMING OF THE UNION

Because it may take many years to fulfill the requirements of the One Flesh marriage, it is best to begin early. Not all are fortunate (or wise) enough to meet a worthy mate at such an early age, but the possibility should be considered if a person wishes to derive as much from the One Flesh concept as possible. Obviously, on the other hand, more benefit is to be derived from a good marriage at age thirty than from a bad one at twenty.

SEEKING A COMPATIBLE MATE

The main reason most young people marry is to satisfy their Primary Sexual Incentives. Unfortunately, this is frequently a great mistake. A man may appear to have a strong affectionate nature before marriage because of his desire for a sexual outlet, but once this is satisfied he may revert to his MCD and leave his new bride to fend for herself far more than she desires. The male may find, if he marries in haste, that he was blinded by his PSI and, once this has been satisfied, the bride of bed is much more than he bargained for. He may find that they really have nothing in common and that what she expects out of life has little to do with his own objectives. What to do? Sometimes an understanding can be achieved, but in many cases the only answer is a new try. As the writer, Dr. P. B. Randolph, said, "The problem is that too many people are married to someone else's husband or wife."

Do we not do ourselves and our spouses a true disservice to remain in a loveless union when it would be possible to free them to seek their compatible mate? How many shrews are such only because they are attempting to survive with a man who is completely unsuited to them? The same, of course, can be said about legions of fantasizing, disgruntled males.

The timely answer is to prevent such partnerships in the first place. This can be done by a few simple rules that can be applied to all marriages. First, never marry anyone who would not be your best friend if he or she were of your same sex. If this rule is followed, the effect of the PSI is reduced. This will be to the good.

Second, be sure to know someone at least six months before becoming engaged. One full year is better. There is no way to learn enough about the character of a person in less time. That is not to say you cannot be lucky and marry someone you have just met and have it work out. Long shots do come in sometimes, but the wise person who really wants a true One Flesh marriage plays the odds.

Third, before marriage ask several good friends and/or relatives of the opposite sex what they honestly think of your choice. Because the effect of PSI is removed, we are usually better able to judge the true nature of a member of our own sex than of those of the opposite sex. Don't be afraid to ask several persons and take to heart their opinions. If the consensus in negative, it might be wise to carefully consider their words and reevaluate your choice. It is always possible that what turns them off may not be a concern to you now, but it might be in the future. Think will on your future One Flesh companion.

Lastly, remember that your chosen will become a part of you through the One Flesh process. Examine that person well to see if you would like to have the person "grafted" onto you- for that is the end result of the marriage union even in those who make no attempt at a One Flesh relationship.

THE NATURE OF THE MARRIAGE

Once a worthy marriage is achieved, the couple can turn their attention to the nature of the One Flesh sexual union itself. The first consideration here is that the marital act is performed in such a way that full benefit of the magnetic fluid and emotional exchange is achieved. If this does not occur, most of the benefits of the One Flesh marriage will remain illusive and the couple will spend their days in discouragement and disenchantment.

The basic law of the One Flesh sexual union is that: NOTHING MUST PREVENT THE NORMAL EXCHANGE THAT TAKES PLACE IN THE VAGINA BETWEEN THE SEMINAL FLUID OF THE MAN AND THE VAGINAL SECRETIONS OF THE WOMAN. This even excludes various chemical substances used as spermicides. Although they may not prevent the admixture of the fluids as some forms of contraception do, they will have an injurious effect on the constituents of the normal fluids and tend to neutralize the desired benefits of the exchange.

There are two corollaries to this basic law that are vital to the perfect union. The first is: THERE MUST BE LOVE IN THE HEARTS OF EACH PARTNER FOR ONE ANOTHER OR THE FLUIDS EXCHANGED WILL REACT ADVERSELY AND TEND TO DESTROY BOTH THE HUSBAND AND THE WIFE INSTEAD OF BUILDING AS THEY SHOULD. For this reason, loveless marriages can be so destructive, and the sexual relationship becomes more and more infrequent in such a union. Abstinence becomes a form of self-preservation for each.

The second corollary is: IF THE COUPLE IS TO BE ABLE TO MAKE FULL BENEFIT OF THE ONE FLESH POTENTIAL, THE EXCHANGE OF SEXUAL FLUIDS IS NECESSARY ON A REGULAR BASIS. In general, this should be at least once or twice a week. In the young and vigorous it may be more frequent, but it usually takes two to three days for the husband to build up a full supply of the various components of the seminal fluid.

SELECTING A CONTRACEPTIVE METHOD

When all these factors are considered, some surprising conclusions may be drawn. Many of the common methods of contraception do not allow for the proper One Flesh sexual exchange and, therefore, are to be avoided. The condom, oral ejaculation, anal sex, withdrawal, and any other form of sex that does not allow the semen to be deposited in the vagina is destructive to both body and Soul. Various forms of chemical agents such as foams, jellies, creams, or sponges are not acceptable because they adversely alter the fluids necessary for the proper functioning of the One Flesh union. Although the intrauterine device and the "pill" do not have the detrimental effects described above, they are such hazards to health that they can be recommended only under very special circumstances. Rhythm and other time-of-month methods certainly fit the criteria for the proper vaginal exchange, but often do not fit well within the needs for regular sexual union.

For most couples the best compromise, when contraception is required, is the use of the latex diaphragm with a nonspermicidal surgical jelly instead of the usual toxic spermicide. If the diaphragm is properly fitted, there should be no effectiveness problem when used in this manner. For those who like the sex act without encumbrances the diaphragm can be used only during the unsafe times of the month and the rest of the time they can go a la natural.

In many years of medical practice I have seen many couples who for various reasons could not effectively use the diaphragm method. For these, some other variation was devised. These were always chosen to fit into the basic tenants of the One Flash marriage.

SOME IMPORTANT LAST WORDS ABOUT THE ONE FLESH INCENTIVES

When the One Flesh concept was first made known over twenty years ago, it was opposed by many women's groups as being sexist, because they felt it was an attempt to degrade woman's place in the world at large. Nothing could be further from the truth. The problem was that these groups tended to misunderstand the differences between intelligence, talent, human creativity, and these incentives, particularly MCD.

The male creative incentive does not necessarily give men any particular intelligence, wisdom, talent, or creativity that is in any way superior to that of women. It does tend to direct qualities men possess into certain areas that Nature finds useful for women's purposes. It is entirely possible for a woman, by her desire and will, to enter these same fields and to succeed where many men have failed.

Many men have a strong MCD but not the intelligence, talent, or desire to do anything productive with it. These are some of the world's most miserable creatures. It is a misery no woman can truly understand any more than a man can comprehend the urge within a real woman to have a child.

Perhaps this difference would be better understood if we were to compare the incentives of birds to that of a human aviator. Each year the birds take off at a certain time to make a long flight to a specific spot in a southern clime. This is done year after year without fail or deviation. It is regulated by the incentives placed by God (Nature, if you will) in these beasts at their conception. these incentives were placed there for one reason: To assure the preservation and evolution of the species. This it has done and will continue to do unless man interferes.

For many centuries man envied the birds' ability, but now by the power of his talent and creativity he has the wherewithal to emulate the flight of creatures. But he has one great advantage: He can now fly where and when he wishes, because he is not governed by the limited incentives of the birds.

So it is with human creativity. There is in both men and women an inborn incentive to create. The objectives of this creativity are distinct with each sex and are given by Nature in an effort to perpetuate and idealize humankind. However, both men and women, since they were given by their Creator the two great boons of intelligent thought and free will to execute the desires of that thought, have the ability either to harmonize themselves with these incentives or to change them to whatever purpose they desire. We see this throughout our world today.

Women decided that they do not want to be mothers but would rather enter the world of men and beat them at their own game. Men are willing to say home and take care of the house because they really enjoy it. It is a common trait of human nature to think that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. We have been given this right by God to come to a fuller understanding of the correctness of His original incentives by the suffering and sorrow we create through our deviations. In essence, we all are prodigal sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father and must some day return to Him, realizing that His ways are best, after all. But, like our Biblical counterpart, we will first squander nearly all our sacred inheritance in riotous living.

There are, of course, many legitimate reasons for the repression or sublimation of these incentives, but even this is not to be accomplished without a certain amount of effort and loss. In some religions the officials, both men and women, are expected to subjugate their sexual desires and expression. Unfortunately, no one told Nature about this, and she keeps placing the same old incentives into the bodies of these individuals. This fight between man's conception of Spirituality and Nature's truth has been going on for many centuries and as yet neither side is showing any signs of giving in. In such a fight it is well to put the money on the side of Nature, for she has always, in the past, proven her superiority in such matters. Some day men of wisdom and perception will realize that a religion that prevents their best men and women from procreating is doomed to retrogression and ultimate extinction if such a practice is allowed to persist.

Before we leave these incentives, one point must be made as plain as possible: THESE ARE INCENTIVES. THEY ARE NOT COMMANDS. IF YOU DON'T LIKE THEM, YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO ATTEMPT TO IGNORE OR SUBLIMATE THEM. On the other hand, it has been my experience that to ignore or deny their existence is to possibly court problems in life. We have come to Earth to learn and to experience, and to do this we must be willing to examine all the possible influences in our lives. Certainly these incentives are such a factor.

The variations of human activities in relation to the One Flesh incentives is truly endless. It has not been possible to delve beyond even the surface of this subject here, but enough has been given for the ardent student of human nature to have a field day watching the actions of his fellow earthlings as they go about their lives being directed by these incentives, but ever eager to deny such external influences.
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